The Impact Of Being A Mother

December 07, 2025

The Impact Of Being A Mother

What you're signing up for

When you become a mom, you will have a whole lifestyle and mindset shift. Every mom you meet will tell you the same thing, verbatim: "Your whole life will change." You are signing up for sleepless nights, painful and slow recovery from birth, body changes, body surprises, financial responsibility, cycle changes, health changes, and new experiences. Once you find out you are pregnant and choose to keep your child, your mental state begins to nest and prepare for another sentient being coming into your home. Nesting is an intense urge to prepare, organize, and clean your home in anticipation of your baby's arrival. Many women also have severe health and mental changes that range from high blood pressure, blindness, tooth loss, tooth decay, swelling in the legs and feet, weight gain, foot growth, facial feature changes, hair loss, hormonal shifts, and postpartum depression (PPD).

All of these changes may seem to happen at once, or you may be lucky and not go through any of them at all. However, you are making a physical sacrifice and risking your life giving birth. Many women have vaginal tears that need stitching, extreme blood loss, emergency c-sections, and breechings can occur. Breeching is when the baby’s head is up instead of down the birth canal. When your baby is breech, a vaginal delivery can be complicated and dangerous. Your healthcare provider may feel comfortable attempting a vaginal breech delivery, but in most cases, they'll recommend a C-section. A C-section (Cesarean section) is a major surgery that delivers your baby through incisions that are seven layers deep. Doctors make cuts in the lower belly and uterus, deliver the baby and placenta, and then stitch everything back together with a horizontal ‘bikini line” stitch being left to heal.

Many people don’t realize things can go terribly wrong so fast while giving birth. Whether a baby is planned or not, birth is no laughing matter. In fact, it can lead to a woman’s death. According to Wikipedia, maternal mortality and morbidity are leading contributors to women's health. It is estimated that 303,000 women are killed each year in childbirth and pregnancy worldwide. Bringing a new life into the world, in a whole, is a sacrifice on your body and maybe your life.

The true responsibility of being a mom

The true responsibility of being a mom is to comfort and nurture another sentient being, regardless of how you feel or what you are going through. Your whole world could be falling apart around you, but when your child cries, they reach out for you, and your whole world stops. Little moments become precious, even if they last only a few minutes. Their smile makes your day, and over time, you realize they enjoy being in your company more than the activities you planned for them. As they get older, your child becomes more independent and opinionated, questioning everything. Even your parenthood and discipline.

Then, when you instill your morals in them and let them experience the real world, sometimes the distance between you and your child becomes saddening. The closeness of being a mother and then becoming someone they worry about becomes constant. Your child then looks at you as an old lady, even though you may feel they are still your world. Being a mom and having experiences in your own womanhood is hard to balance and control.

Being a mother in today's U.S. economy and society is even more of a hassle. Due to certain laws in the United States, choosing not to be a mom, especially if it is forced on you, is illegal and can lead to jail time. The idea of someone telling men what to do with their bodies is never on the table, but women are subjected to being overly examined and judged, even by other women. Sadly, many people believe that women are promiscuous, especially if they are women of color. So in many current cases in the U.S., women are being forced to be responsible for a child when they didn't give consent to their partners or strangers during the act. In some red states, it is illegal to have an abortion, and it can lead to jail time.

The truth they don't tell you about motherhood

The truth they don’t tell you about motherhood is that it can make or break you. For many women, we rise to the occasion because we can multitask, think ahead, and take on the household's mental load. Over time, we even become professional over thinkers and inventory stockers in our own homes. Some women fail to make lifestyle changes that support a child's growth, and they have habits they can't let go of. The sad truth is, motherhood is exhausting and a full-time job with no pay. The only benefit is having a child who looks to you for comfort, nurturing, and safety, and who may turn out to be a good person in this messed-up world. Last but not least, your time is no longer yours. Everything you do will be with your child, and nothing is just yours anymore. This includes your food, snacks and desserts, clothes, accessories, makeup, and they will use your hygienic products as toys. Some days are hard, and some are easy because you’ll set a routine that your child will adjust to. As a mom, you are their friend, planner, chef, personal shopper, stylist, assistant, maid, hairdresser, custodian, and all-around caregiver. It is a thankless, selfless job that some women sign up for, and others are forced into.

It's not just carrying a child for 9 months or giving birth. Motherhood is getting up every day and choosing to be good to a child. Whether you gave birth or adopted a child. Women are amazing, and our bodies can create a sentient being in our uterus that recognizes our voice and reaches for our touch every day. We can even adopt children as our own and unlock motherly qualities within ourselves. Motherhood is choosing to love, teach, and sustain a home and structured routine, which is motherhood wrapped up in a bow. The other part that they never tell you is that motherhood never stops. Mothers are still expected to be present even when the child is fully grown, has their own family, or has moved far away. Mothers are expected to do and be everything to everyone else, without time for themselves.

The financial reality is that the majority of women in the United States aren't able to have a child or several children. The economic situation is so bad that, according to NASDAQ, 40% of Americans have $250 or less in their savings account, and 18% have nothing saved. Due to the economic state, laws on women's bodies, and the lack of health insurance coverage, bringing new life into the world truly sounds out of reach for many. Also, the United States is the only industrialized country without national paid maternity leave. The U.S. guarantees 0 weeks of national paid parental leave. Which means we face higher rates of PPD and anxiety, more feeding complications, financial stress, and less bonding and attachment times for our babies. The lack of government support, along with the cost of living, put reality into perspective for many women, especially in the United States.

The 4B impact on motherhood

Motherhood can only be sustained by male sperm, according to "red pill" men. There are several movements currently underway. The "red pill" movement consists of men who have misogynistic and anti-feminist beliefs that, in a whole, choose to hate women. They hate the leveling up movement of women, the unfair dating world, and assert the “manosphere”. The “manosphere” is a digital collection of websites, videos, and forums that promote male supremacy and advocate for traditional gender roles. They are the main ones online that love to debate about "Alpha" and "Beta" males. These men judge women based on how many sexual partners they’ve had, how they dress, and even have online chatrooms that encourage violence against women. Many of these men respect the patriarchy and are proud of traditional gender roles. Traditionally, men are viewed as breadwinners, and women as homemakers. Jobs outside the home are considered paid labor, while the work of maintaining a home often goes unnoticed by women's partners. This invisible labor is isolating, and these types of men have no idea that it exists until their partner brings it up. The ideology that men are superior to women is, in fact, a lie that they feed to each other in chatrooms to make themselves feel bigger than the reality in which they live.

Due to this movement that increases harm towards women, many women have chosen not to date at all. You may have heard of the "Male loneliness epidemic," which is due to several factors. The "Male loneliness epidemic' is mainly due to the reliance on their partners, societal pressure, and a huge decline of male communities. The mental load, physical strain, and societal pressure to have and hold a family together are often pushed on women due to the patriarchal society in which we live. How does this affect motherhood?

Many women are choosing to be motherless due to these types of men and the harmful communities that exist. This movement, called the 4B movement, is extremely popular in South Korea. It's so popular that elementary schools were shut down recently and remain closed today due to low birth rates. There are several movements of women focusing on themselves, creating content about doing things that make them happy, and leveling up their lives for their own betterment. Due to misogynistic and patriarchal views, women are choosing their own happiness now more than ever before. This movement is why low birth rates are occurring worldwide. The birth rates are so low that many countries are financially encouraging couples to have children. Countries such as Poland, Hungary, Russia, South Korea, France, Italy, Turkey, Japan, Vietnam, and Singapore are offering financial incentives to have more children.

My experience with motherhood in America

As a woman who was in a six-year relationship, I never thought I would be a single mom. I was pregnant for three months when I was proposed to.I was engaged up until July when my ex-fiancé called it off. A lot of things happened after, but today I am a mother with full custody of my daughter, and I couldn’t be happier. To be honest…the breakup was a blessing in disguise. The door I wanted to run through was slammed in my face, and it took me down a brighter path.

Even though I have sleepless nights and sometimes worry about finances, I am grateful to have a village that helps me without questions or drama. Being a single mother is so much better than being with a partner who is selfish, controlling, and incompetent to my emotional needs. Every day that goes by, I am stronger due to the choices I made in the past, and my daughter is happy every day.

As a mother, I’ve also come to the realization that I live in a country that does not care about mothers, children, or people of color. As a woman of color raising a little girl of color, safety is my top priority. Sex trafficking is at an all-time high for women of color; so, in addition to the over sexualization of everything I do, trying to raise a child in a heartless world and hold onto my own womanhood, I also have to keep my head on a swivel and be even more observant than before. It’s not just me anymore, so I constantly have to be aware and stay safe while my daughter has no cares in the world.

My daughter is a playful two-year-old who isn’t scared to tell you how she feels. Her voice is bigger than her body, and she likes to sing, dance, and eat peanut butter. She loves watching Ms. Rachael, Baby Shark, Bluey, and Sesame Street. She loves to draw and run nonstop around the house. I never thought my child would take off her dirty diaper and throw it out of her crib. I never thought she would hate using the potty, draw on the walls, and stare at me sleeping from her crib. She even uses the tops of markers as finger puppets and waves aggressively at strangers. My daughter is a character in her own life, and I absolutely love her.

This is the impact of being a mother.

From Lizzy’s Point of View.

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